Thursday, 27 May 2010

Black Eyed Geez


There was a painful incident at Bangholm Astro this evening during Primaries 4-0 victory over Trinity.

Stevie Gilhooley, PSFC's resident midfield maestro (thats like the boy from off the Go Compare ads, not the car, byraway) suffered an ugly gash as the disco dancing honey badger managed to bonk bonces with swarthy goal getter Gary Sullivan during a corner kick.

Needless to say it was the Heads head (see what i did there?) that came off worse and Gilhooley (46) was rushed to the local infirmary for a bottle of Tobasco and a smattering of plumbers caulk.

Luckily for all concerned, Sullivan (28) was sufficiently concussed to resume playing and finished the game with 3 goals and an assist to his name.

Most sane people would have thought that kind of performance might have been rewarded with some form of scant congratulations.... maybe even a Man of the Match nod??

Think again!

RAM IT!!

:-)


Monday, 24 May 2010

The Boys are Back in Toon!


The 2010 Primary Schools Football Club team squad.

Question immediately raised are:-

Why is Dimeck laughing at a cardboard cutout of Stevie J?
What horrors is Kay imagining?
Does Wilson's tan look too uneven to be natural?
Willie French: - Not as tall as you thought, eh?
Sullivan is a stick on for a podgy Jason Statham.

This isn't football...... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!




Breaking news.........

The Reuters news agency has just released details of an "alleged" rift in the Primaries camp that has sent shock waves around the world of staff football.

Information is still sketchy but it seems as though the PSFC president has resigned from his post amid rumours that teams are sick to the BACK TEETH of being cuffed to the tune of 6 and 7 goals every game.

A club insider has been quoted as saying "The boys are resolutely defending their right to bang as many goals past the opposition as they damn well please. One player recently aired his frustration during the match when (as the fourth goal was blasted past his keeper) he shouted 'This is why we don't want to play The Primaries!!'. We'll just keep getting the ball on the carpet and play our passing game. My mum told me from the sidelines that it really was 'a joy to watch.'"

More news on this sensational story as we get it....

Hot Shot 2010


Primaries have been peppering the ingin' bag all season long with a stunning return of 36 goals in 8 games.

The coveted Hot Shot Trophy (think of a miniature UEFA Cup with a well used hacky-sac stuffed on top) is being fiercely contested in an attempt to wrest the title of PSFC sharpshooter away from current holder, Gary "Kid Goals" Sullivan.

As the season comes to an end, the final results of the Hot Shot Trophy are in....

Final Standings:-

Sullivan 10
McLeod 9
Dimeck 6
Jamieson 5
Petrie 5
Gilhooley 2
Odie, Durkin, Morrison, Trialist 1

There had been a poorly devised, bitter attempt to prevent the trophy from being awarded to Sullivan after it was mentioned that goals count in the 7's tournament. Bear in mind that goals didn't count in last years 7's, or any 7's tourneys before that stretching back to the inception of the Mike Darnell 7's.

I asked one of the tournament organizers (Mike Irving, Spartans 1st Team Coach) to qualify the new rule that goals scored in the 7's tournament count towards the 11-a-side season tally. His reply was short and to the point:- "Utter Pish".

So there you have it. Straight from the horses mouth. Sullivan retains the Hot Shot trophy for another season.

Deal with it.


Results 2010

Each week the results page will be updated with our recent match score and details.



P

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

11

7

0

4 42

25

21



St Augies/WHEC 0 v 1 Primaries (Gilhooley)
MOM - Gilhooley

Portobello 7 v 4 Primaries (McLeod 2, Jamieson, Petrie)
MOM - Kay

Newbattle 0 v 6 Primaries (Dimeck 3, McLeod 2, Jamieson)
MOM - Dimeck

Balerno/Currie 1 v 7 Primaries (Sullivan 4, Jamieson 2, Odie)
MOM - Sullivan

Lasswade 2 v 4 Primaries (Dimeck, Petrie, McLeod 2)
MOM - McCann

Craigroyston 2 v 4 Primaries (Sullivan 2, McLeod, Durkin)
MOM - McLeod

Gillespies 1 v 6 Primaries (Gilhooley, Dimeck 2, Petrie 2, Sullivan)
MOM -Durkin

Trinity 0 v 4 Primaries (Sullivan 3, McLeod)
MOM - McCann????

WHEC 4 v 2 Primaries (Morrison, McLeod)
MOM - McCann????

Musselburgh 3 v 0 Primaries (Naeb'dy)
MOM - Gilhooley

West Lothian 5 v 4 Primaries (Vic O.G, Trialist, Jamieson, Petrie)
MOM - Durkin